What do Corvette C7 Stingray and C7 Z06 Nurburgring Lap Times and NTHSA Crash Safety Ratings Have in Common?

The short answer is: THEY DO NOT EXIST!!!  More over, they never will...

Hmmm, seems just a bit strange that with all the spouting off coming from +Tadge Juechter and +General Motors sales brochures bragging about increased RIGIDITY of the newest Corvette and extra weight that supposedly HAD TO BE APPLIED DUE TO STRINGENT SAFETY REQUIREMENTS, these fucking cars would score very impressive safety scores from NTHSA just for starters.  At least this way, the bullshit Juechter keeps spewing would gain FOR A CHANGE some credibility.

But... There are safety ratings for any of the seventh generation of Corvette, in spite of corporate bullshit like this one:

Even stranger, and taken directly from GM website:

Chevrolet puts safety first, and we have the 5-star scores to prove it. An impressive eight 2014 models have received the highest possible Overall Vehicle Score for Safety from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration^† (NHTSA). That’s the most 2014 5-Star Overall Vehicle Scores of any automotive brand —more than Ford or Toyota.

NHTSA has been testing vehicles for safety since 1978, and in 2011 added an Overall Vehicle Score, as well as revised their testing to be more stringent. The comprehensive NHTSA New Car Assessment Program (NCAP) puts vehicles through frontal, side-impact and side pole crash tests, as well as rollover evaluations. Each model is then given safety ratings from one to five stars.

 

In testing 2014 vehicles, NHTSA gave its highest possible overall score to eight different Chevrolet models. Malibu, Sonic, Cruze, Volt, Impala, Traverse, Camaro Coupe and Silverado 1500 Crew Cab each received a 5-Star Overall Vehicle Score for Safety.

It’s also important to know that Chevrolet is always developing innovative technologies to help keep you and your passengers safer.

So where the seventh generation of Corvette?  Did GM "forget" about Corvette while bragging about the safety of its vehicles?  After all, Corvette C7 Z06 is the FLAGSHIP of Chevrolet and certainly, in the 21st Century, a real supercar is not just distinguished by its appearance and performance, SAFETY is also a mandatory part of the real supercar equation.

Were the results of C7 testing so impressive that made other GM cars look so bad that Mary Barra decided not to shame the lowlier GM jalopies and strategically withheld Corvette C7?

Well no... Instead, the explanation is much more shocking: the seventh generation of Corvette had not been tested to achieve a safety score for a simple reason none of the C7 cars, including the flagship could never pass these tests.

Of course, this situation is nothing new, none of the previous Corvettes have ever been crash safety tested, mainly due to absolute lack of roll over protection but... with such a TECHNOLOGICAL BREAK THROUGH and supposedly the MOST TRACK CAPABLE CORVETTE EVER, wouldn't this part change and the America's favorite sports get its long overdue safety rating (at the top of the list of course)? 

Obviously, this is not the case and in spite of this extra weight devoted to increasing the safety factor, none of the newest Corvettes can still pass the crash tests.  This part alone renders both Tadge Juechter and Mary Barra the quintessential hypocrites and idiots.  Why exactly make the new car so fucking heavy if it still totally unsafe and in fact, WORSE THAN THE PRECEDING C5 and C6 generations. 

Now, this is a question that douchebag Juechter should be answering in a hurry.  Of course, GM legal department would not allow Juechter to answer this question, even when optimistically assuming this douchebag would have enough integrity to actually honestly address this issue.